Conflict Part 3: How to Make Conflict Work for You
As we continue our series on conflict, it’s important to ask a key question: we know conflict can be both positive and negative, and that understanding the causes is crucial—but how do we navigate conflict in a way that’s healthy and strengthens our team?
Conflict works when you have a plan.
Conflict is inevitable, so instead of avoiding it, prepare for it. Expect it. Start by training your team on the difference between task-related conflict and personal conflict. Encourage them to keep disagreements focused on the work at hand, rather than letting things get personal. As a leader, you also need to be aware of the potential causes of conflict. Ensure roles are clear and communication is straightforward. Empower your team to speak up with grace when values clash or personalities differ. And remember, you set the tone—model how to engage in productive conflict and how to resolve personal conflicts. When you do this, you help your team understand how conflict can actually work for them.
Conflict works when you give permission.
Building a culture where your team feels comfortable engaging in conflict starts with giving them permission to do so. Encourage feedback, critical thinking, and creativity. When your team knows they can ask questions and tackle problems head-on, you’ll see less conflict driven by fear, frustration, or power dynamics. Empower your team to collaborate, communicate clearly, and make thoughtful decisions—even when you, as the leader, might be wrong! This shift can create a culture of humility, hard work, and mutual respect.
Conflict works when you follow a process.
Many people shy away from conflict. But as a leader, it’s up to you to clearly communicate and model a process for handling conflict when it arises. Why? Because when people know what to expect, they’re more likely to engage in conflict when needed. You need to know when to address issues publicly and when to handle things one-on-one. You also need to show how to address conflict directly, rather than resorting to gossip or avoidance. Leaders must demonstrate how to approach conflict with grace and avoid taking it personally. Set this process in place, so that when conflict does arise, your team knows how to handle it in a way that benefits everyone.
Here are a few tips for healthy conflict resolution:
Have private, direct conversations.
Ask for help from the person you’re in conflict with to resolve the issue.
Use “I” statements to express your thoughts and feelings.
Practice active listening.
Collaborate to find the best solution (using tools like the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model).
As leaders, we must be intentional about how we approach conflict to ensure it’s handled in a healthy way. Have a plan, set an example, give permission for productive conflict, and put a process in place so that conflict is not something to fear, but rather an opportunity to grow and improve.